Ash and Misty were walking through the forest, when suddenly two figures in white outfits appeared. One was a familiar-looking man with blue hair, the other a woman with long limp red hair falling around her face and shoulders. She wore a tent-like white dress with a red R over her protruding abdomen. On her hand was a wedding ring.
"Hey, Misty, it's James!" yelled Ash. "He hasn't been around to bug us for months. But who's that with him?"
"It looks like Jesse," replied Misty. "but why would she let her hair get like that?"
"Being pregnant can really mess up your hair! I haven't had a decent perm in ages!" snapped the woman. Misty looked uncomfortable. "Oh it IS you, Jesse! I just didn't recognize you in that dress."
"You think they make those miniskirts in maternity sizes? And I don't even want to talk about trying to put on those ridiculous boots!" Misty looked at Jesse's feet, which had Nurse Joy shoes.
"And you think I want to wear that tiny top and show everyone my stretch marks?" Jesse continued. James made puppy eyes at his wife. "Aw, Jesse, those are cute stretch marks." Jesse beamed back at him until Ash, looking a little sick, cleared his throat.
"Oh, right," said Jesse, "Um, PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!" "And make it double!"
"To protect the world from... um...." Jesse trailed off.
James said, "Wow, you really are getting forgetful. It's devastation, protect the world from devastation."
"Right," replied Jesse, "To protect the world from, oooooh...." She moaned and clutched her stomach.
Ash looked panicked. "Is she going to have the baby right now?"
Jesse waved her hand in dismissal, "No, no, I just get these contractions now and then, it's normal, no big deal." James looked concerned. "Maybe I should finish the motto by myself?" "No, I can do it," said Jesse, "Just give me a minute to go over ... there... first." She waddled as quickly as possible to a clump of trees. James rolled his eyes. "Fine, but you just went ten minutes ago."
Ash was starting to look panicky again. "Are you sure she's O.K.?" "Yes," said James, "It's just at this stage there's a lot of pressure on her bladder. Anyway, oh yeah, HAND OVER PIKACHU, TWERP!"
Suddenly they heard a yell. "Oh no, my hip went out again! I hate it when this happens!"
"I'll go help her," said Misty, "You guys can settle this."
"Pikachu's not here," said Ash.
"What do you mean he's not here," said James, "where else would he be?"
"I'm not sure exactly, he saw some wild Pikachu and went chasing after them."
"Again?"
"Yeah, Tracey followed him so he could draw them all. They'll probably be back tomorrow."
"Oh, and I suppose you think Team Rocket's going to go up in the balloon and try to steal the whole bunch, and then you can send us blasting off again. Well, with Jesse in her condition, forget that!"
"Fine," said Ash, "Suit yourself."
Misty returned. On her arm limped a resentful Jesse. "James, you really ought to let her get more rest, she's not up to this."
"I told her she should quit months ago," whined James, "but would she listen? No, she wouldn't! Not even when those veins in her legs started looking all weird."
"Great!" yelled Jesse angrily, "Tell them all about my horrible legs now!"
James looked contrite. "Aw, Jesse, your legs are beautiful." They beamed at each other again.
This time Misty cleared her throat. "So, where's Meowth?"
"He's signing us all up for an infant care class," said Jesse. "I got so bored just waiting there in the clinic. I thought it might cheer me up to go try to steal Pikachu, but he isn't even here."
"Sorry." said Ash. "You want we should have a fight with the rest of our Pokemon? Bulbasaur hasn't had a battle in a while." "Well, I hate for us to come all the way here for nothing," said James, reaching for a pokeball. "Oh, James, please don't use Weezing, I couldn't stand the smell of a gas attack right now." moaned Jesse.
James shook his head. "Honestly, I can't put Jess through this, how about you twerps run along and we'll go practice our childbirth breathing exercises, O.K.?"
"James, we'll ruin our reputation and get thrown out of Team Rocket," yelled Jesse.
"Well, really Jesse! We're going to have to find some other job pretty soon anyway! What else were you planning on, starting a Team Rocket daycare?"
Jesse burst into tears. "I suppose you think we should never have gotten married in the first place. What are we going to do?" James put an arm around her, "Aw, it's tough for you, you're very emotional right now. It'll be O.K., there's lots of stuff we're good at. Let's go have some ice cream." "We can't afford ice cream, we need to save our money," sobbed Jesse. James began murmuring to her in a low voice.
Misty and Ash cleared their throats at the same time. "Look," said Misty. "Here's some money, go buy the darned ice cream, Ash and I have Pokemon to catch."
"Oh, go away already!" said Jesse and James.
"Let us know if you have a boy or a girl, O.K.?" said Misty. "But either way, the kid gets the same present, I've got this set of Pokemon princess dolls..."
Jesse's eyed flared up. "Princess dolls?" she began to yell.
"Now you look more like your old self," laughed Misty, running off. "Expect a package from me!"
And Jesse and James wandered off to get ice cream and think of names, while Ash and Misty went off to catch Pokemon and not to even think about words like "marriage" and "children".
The End