We were trudging through mud. It had been raining all day, and the entire path was a river of mud. I had to stop every few minutes and scrape it off my boots. Then I had to scrape off Jesse's boots too, because she refused to do it herself. I normally enjoy having excuses to touch Jesse but hunching over in the mud while she complained took any possible pleasure out of the experience. Meowth was complaining too, but I wasn't about to clean his paws off. So he started riding on my head. I hate that under normal circumstances, but the fact that he smeared mud all over my jacket made it even worse.
Finally we approached the clearing where the twerps were. We were sure we had a foolproof plan this time. We were going to set them on fire.
O.K., we weren't really going to set them on fire, even we weren't that cruel. But we were going to set up a giant ring of flames around where they were, and block the only path out. Then we would throw a net over them to keep them from using their water pokemon, and then we would grab the Pikachu. Then, out of human kindness, we would remove the net as we ran away. In this wet weather it was unlikely that we would set the entire forest on fire. And even if we did, it would be worth it to get Pikachu.
Fortunately, the twerps were sleeping in late this morning in a large clearing, perfect for our purposes. I was tempted to tell Meowth to just run in there and stuff Pikachu in a bag. But having him set up the small explosives instead sounded like too much fun.
Unfortunately, something went wrong. Meowth set up the explosives without a path out, and we ended up stuck inside a complete circle of fire with the twerps. Brock started to panic. Ash started to yell that we couldn't steal Pikachu. Misty had the presence of mind to get out her water Pokemon to put out the fire. We realized that we had better let her do that or we all risked death. Then I decided to throw a net over the rest of the twerps. It seemed like a brilliant idea; we could grab the Pikachu and Misty's water pokemon.
Well, of course it wasn't a brilliant idea. The net caught the kids but the Pikachu had jumped out of the way and immediately we went sailing through the air with that familiar floating sensation that I had so often felt. That was followed by the hideous crashing sensation I had equally often felt.
Meowth and I landed in some brush, and were scratched and bruised but otherwise fine. Jesse landed in the muddy path and rolled over several times. I could tell she was O.K. also, because she stood up right away. Then I started laughing.
Jesse looked like a mud-wrestler being transformed into a clay doll. Mud was matter all over her hair and clothing, with just her angry blue eyes peeking out. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen, and I have seen Koffing wearing make-up and Ash Ketchum in a dress. I knew laughing was an extremely bad idea, but I laughed harder than I ever have in my life.
I expected Jesse to hit me. I didn't even think I could blame her. But instead of hitting me, she started shrieking, "Don't laugh at me!" and ran off into the forest.
I felt awful. I'd hate to have my good looks spoiled by mud, and now I had laughed at Jesse. I had committed an offense beyond hitting, and I was going to have to find her and apologize.
I walked off in the direction she had run in, and found her leaning against a tree. She had her head down and she looked like she was crying. She had used the inside of her jacket to wipe off as much mud as she could and it was now a crumpled mess on the ground beside her. I stood in front of her for a moment, thinking how great she looked in that little top, even with mud in her hair. Then she looked up and saw me.
"Go away!" she yelled.
"Jesse, I'm sorry I laughed," I said.
"You laugh at me the one time you catch me looking ugly, you pathetic jerk!"
I was really surprised by that. Not the pathetic jerk part, the ugly part. That was the second time I had heard Jesse call herself ugly, and it just didn't make any sense.
"I laughed because you looked silly. Anybody would, with mud all over them. That's all, Jesse."
"I work hard to look like someone no one will laugh at. Even when there isn't anyone around but you," she said.
I took off my own jacket and took out my water bottle. I poured water over the jacket and started trying to wipe mud out of her hair.
"Jesse, you know I've seen you when you're not exactly at your best, and you're never ugly. Neither one of us is capable of being ugly." I thought that might make her laugh, besides being true, but she just glared at me.
"Maybe my looks are nothing special, after all, certain people have a fiancée who looks just like me!" said Jesse.
"She does? I never noticed; I was too busy running away and screaming in terror."
Jesse shrugged. "I guess I do have her beat in the personality department."
I was feeling very tired and silly, and I started singing a goofy little song that went "I love you even with mud on you..." I barely had any idea what I was saying.
"Shut up!" yelled Jesse. Then she reached down to the ground, picked up a handful of dirt and mud, and mashed it into my hair.
I ran to the path to get some mud to throw back at her but she beat me there and dumped more mud in my hair. Then she threw some mud at my shirt. That knocked me over, and lay there in the mud looking up at her. She started laughing hysterically.
Eventually she reached down to help me up. I pulled her down instead and she fell next to me, still laughing. I thought about how to tell her that even now she looked beautiful, but I couldn't think of what to say. Finally I just leaned over and kissed her on the lips.
She pulled away looking shocked, but then she wrapped her muddy arms around me and kissed me back. Then we heard Meowth's voice.
"Don't tell me, I don't even wanna know."
We jumped up and went after him. He's still cleaning the mud out of his ears.