Note: I wanted to write a Hellsing Christmas fic, and in the end this seems like the kinder, gentler version of an adult story I once wrote. I think I just wanted these two to have a decent holiday. It is set completely in the animeverse.

Thank you to dasaod for beta help, and to the “little details” community at Live Journal for “britpicking.” Any mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: Hellsing is owned by Kohta Hirano, Pioneer Entertainment, and others, not by me. No copyright infringement is intended or implied.

Making Things Happen: A Hellsing Christmas Vignette

It later occurred to Seras Victoria that the whole thing could be blamed on Agatha, the new maid. Seras had stopped to speak to Walter early that morning, close to Christmas, about the temperature in her room. It was silly, as she could barely feel cold anymore, but being the type of person he was he simply agreed and promised to attend to it as soon as possible.

At the time, Walter had been instructing some servants to put up a few more holiday decorations and plants from a local florist. Seras had still been standing there talking to him when Agatha had come up and said in a cheery voice, “Now look what they’ve sent us with the poinsettias! Mistletoe!”

She had held it up over their heads. Walter had raised his eyebrows a bit and leaned toward Seras. The young vampire wasn’t quite sure why he had had such an accommodating reaction but she had put a hand over her mouth quickly, murmured a muffled “No,” and hurried from the room. She had stopped in the hallway, hearing the old butler’s voice calmly telling Agatha,

“Don’t be concerned about that. Why don’t you take these garlands to the main room where the tree is.”

Seras had gone to her coffin then and tried to forget the whole thing. It was all Agatha’s fault.

When she woke up that evening, she was called to Sir Integral’s office and received instructions for a training session near dawn. Hellsing was never off-duty any more than any other army, and most of the regular drills and other activities continued over Christmas. Her master’s master was hoping she could be more help with new recruits. As Seras stood to leave, Sir Integral put up a hand.

“By the way, what was that all about this morning?”

Seras’ first reaction was confusion. “What do you mean?”

“With Walter and the mistletoe. Why were you so rude?”

“Rude?” asked Seras. “I thought he really would have kissed me, but who wants to kiss a vampire? I have fangs and I drink blood…” She trailed off, realizing that was more than obvious. “Even for a joke, it seemed wrong. So I left.”

“I doubt Walter is quite so easily shocked after all his years at Hellsing, but that’s not my point. It looked like you were sickened at the idea, and there was no need to go that far to avoid kissing the butler.”

“I honestly didn’t think of it that way,” said Seras, now feeling uncomfortable. “I thought it was obvious I just didn’t want him to put himself through that because he didn’t want to embarrass me. And I had no idea that he was upset or that he complained to you.”

Sir Integral raised her eyebrows. “I’m not sure Walter’s easily upset, any more than he’s easily shocked, and I only know about it because I saw it from the other doorway. I was just wondering why you didn’t show more respect. But it’s over; I’m not going to make an issue over a trivial personal matter.”

The other woman busied herself with a pile of papers and Seras backed out of the room. She felt guilty now. She didn’t know Walter that well but he had always been kinder to her than almost anyone at Hellsing had been and she had never meant to hurt his feelings.

Eventually she decided she would have to talk to him. It would doubtless be terribly awkward but she could clear the air and not have to try to avoid seeing him. The latter was probably impossible anyway.

One of the other servants told her the butler had gone to his own room. She was hesitant to bother him there but she decided to go ahead before she lost her nerve. Three minutes later she was knocking on the door.

Walter opened it slowly. Apparently he had been relaxing a little as he wore only a shirt and pants without his vest and tie, and his sleeves were undone. He still wore his monocle though, and was holding a book in his hand. Seras glanced at the title and saw it was a book of poetry by Wilfred Owen.

She had almost never seen him off duty, and she now began to consider what he might do in his spare time besides read and chat with Integral and Alucard. What did he think about? Did he have friends outside of Hellsing, or miss people from his past who were gone now? What did he really think of her, besides as another vampiric burden on him?

“I’m going to check the ventilation in your room later on tonight, when I won’t have to disturb you,” he said to her. “Then I’ll see what I can do about heat.”

Seras shook her head. “This isn’t about that. May I come in?”

Walter had an odd look on his face for a moment. Seras was fairly certain he was considering the propriety of the situation. In the end he shrugged and nodded, and moved further into the room. She followed him in and shut the door behind her.

“It’s about this morning,” she began.

He looked very curious and waited for her to continue.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

Walter nodded in understanding then. “Mistletoe is a joke, Seras. If you don’t want to play along, you don’t need to. Don’t be sorry.”

“Sir Integral told me she thought I was very rude.”

“Is that was this is about? I’ll tell her there was no problem, if that will help,” he said.

“She didn’t order me to apologize. I wanted to. I was just so certain at the time that you were inwardly disgusted but being polite. You’re very polite, you know…” Seras trailed off.

“Thank you. I’m a little lost as to why kissing you would disgust anyone, but as I said, there’s no reason to dwell on this.”

“I’m a vampire!” she said. “I have --” She stopped. She wasn’t going to say that again. “I’m a dead body.”

Walter nodded again. “I can understand why you don’t always want to think of it that way, but it’s unfortunately true. But that doesn’t mean, theoretically speaking, that you won’t find someone to kiss you just as you did when you were alive.”

He was looking at her in a very concerned way now, as if he were the one trying to apologize. It was odd for Seras to be speaking to him of personal matters, but she didn’t want to stop.

“I doubt it. It was difficult enough then… I didn’t have many friends and then I was on the police force. I’ve never had a real kiss,” she said. She wondered if that sounded pathetic to him.

Walter looked quite surprised, which was unusual for him. “I’m sorry to hear that. But it’s not too late. But I don’t suggest mistletoe; it’s a poor way to get a real kiss I would imagine.”

Seras knew this would be a good time to leave, but she had started to find a certain fascination in discussing kissing with Walter.

“I imagine you’ve kissed a lot of people,” she blurted out.

He laughed, which was another thing she had almost never seen.

“Enough that at some point I stopped keeping a precise count, yes. Obviously, it’s been quite a while.”

Seras laughed now herself. “If it’s not obvious for me why should it be obvious for you? You seem attractive enough.” She realized as she said that it was true, and she waited to see how he would react.

He gave her a sideways look then as if he weren’t certain how serious she was. “Thank you again then. I’m sure if things were different…”

He looked thoughtful and sighed. “Well they’d have to be quite different, wouldn’t they?”

“What do you mean?” she asked, though she thought she knew.

“Many things, but mainly that humans grow older, though vampires do not. And I doubt you wanted a real kiss from someone who could be your grandfather at any time.”

Seras spent a moment thinking about that: her ageless self, and this dignified old man, and various scenes that had never happened.

It occurred to her that she had only so much time. She put her hand on his shoulder and stood on her toes, pressing her lips against his. She could tell he was shocked by the way he inhaled sharply but he returned the kiss, and she felt his hand, still holding the book, press against the small of her back. She stood for a moment enjoying the feeling, then pulled away and smiled. He looked into her eyes and smiled back hesitantly.

“I’d better go now, I think,” she said. She hated to break the moment but she was worried she had gone too far already. He nodded and moved toward his desk, no longer facing her.

“Well. Have a merry Christmas,” she murmured.

“I’m sure I’ll see you again before then,” he said softly without turning around.

She reached out then and stroked his ponytail, feeling the soft hair between her fingers. “Thank you, Walter”

“Indeed, Miss Seras.”

She went through the door and back to her room, considering kisses and other things that could now be said to be real.